There is a big weekend coming up and I am definitely not ready for it. Even if I got as much training in as I possibly could there is no way to actually be ready for it. Saturday July 27th is the Minnetonka Challenge, 5 mile swim. The next day I am doing the Chisago Lake sprint triathlon. I have been training, when I can. With children and life and working my program you could say there is enough going on. For me no. The way that I have navigated this part of my life is through melding of all of the above together (kids, program, training) and finally an ever expanding support structure. I started the training alone putting one foot in front of the other and paired it with whatever other challenges I was facing at the time. As I got stronger physically I was able to attempt the next physical goal and the next personal challenge in front of me. It has been an arduous journey to say the least....but worth it every time I reach the other side of things. I am on this side of my next event (haven't even reached base camp in my mind) and of course life and kids throw me curve balls at the same time today, this weekend, next week... Today I am freaked out about what I am going to do and stressed. It will not matter when I get there, all the questions I have running through my head. The only thing I have to do is swim. One length of the lake, 5 miles. Going from pool swimming to longer distance open water swimming has been one of the biggest eye openers for me about the mental limitations I put on myself. Good bye 50s, 100s and even the 500 (yard swims/races) that I used to know. Being asked to swim the mile in college was just a joke on me I thought. Now I face only the sound of the water, the thoughts in my head and a long time to push through more pain and fatigue than I have known before. I will do it. I am not afraid of swimming 5 miles or doing the triathlon the next day. I am nervous and anxious which is supposed to be a good thing. Never mind I have knots in my stomach already and feel a bit nauseated today. Back to the swim, the length of time pushing yourself without feeling or seeing results. How familiar. There is a starting point and a direction to go in and once you start it is up to you to find the way that works for you....this swim is an obvious metaphor for my recovery. The thing about today is I feel more sure about my recovery than I do about my athletic ability! What a great place to be in regardless.
I picked up a book at a garage sale this morning and in it someone wrote:
"Stop being angry at everyone
accept what is
and live your life"
-smart people
It was a dollar well spent just to read that message!! Have a wonderful Friday evening! Hunter
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